It isn’t that Moroccan men treat women poorly, it is just that women are so conspicuously absent from their world view. Take for instance, the recent program I attended honouring the 40th anniversary of the reunification of Jerusalem at Petah Tikvah Synagogue – a Moroccan synagogue with roots in Tangier Morocco. While this is a 2nd generation-run synagogue (the shul was first organized in the early 50’s by immigrants from Tangier), it is still very much an exclusive men’s club that tolerates women but certainly does not include women in any significant role in the synagogue. (Women at Petah Tikvah are not allowed to vote and cannot serve on the Board of Directors.)
Before the program started, a video played on a continuous loop that featured photographs of Israel. Out of a guestimate several hundred photographs – 2 shots actually showed women. It was really quite a statement! A person watching this video without much prior knowledge of Israel, could get the impression that Israel is a country populated almost exclusively by men. This video blatantly omitted women – as if female Israelis had no part in the Six-Day War or in present-day Israel either. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
The MC of the evening gave a speech that never acknowledged the Israeli women of the IDF who worked as combat fighters, pilots, technicians, support staff, instructors and linguists during several wars as well as in times of relative peace. A second speaker acknowledged women specifically as “mothers mourning their sons”. And made another reference to “Our brothers in Israel” with no mention at all about our sisters.
So in order to set the record straight and to make sure that women are not written out of the history books or the collective memory of Jews in the Diaspora, I offer the following information.
Both men and women are subject to conscription – mandatory service in the army in Israel. About 1/6 of men and 1/3 of women are exempted from service for religious or nuptial reasons (with women it is often for both reasons – Orthodox women of 18 years old are often married by the time they are required to serve in the IDF).
Following their active service, women, like men, are in theory required to serve up to one month annually in reserve duty. Women in combat roles get called for active reserve duty for a few years following their active service, with obvious exit points (e.g., pregnancy).
With the exception of the 1948 Arab-Israeli War, when manpower shortages saw many women taking active part in battles on the ground, women were historically barred from battle in the IDF, serving instead in a variety of technical and administrative support roles. During the 1948 war, the IDF reputedly favored female instructors for training male soldiers in certain roles, particularly tank crews.
After a landmark 1994 High Court appeal by Alice Miller, a Jewish immigrant from South Africa, the Air Force opened its pilots course to women (several served as transport pilots during the first Arab-Israeli War in 1948 and "Operation Kadesh" in 1956, but the Air Force later closed its ranks to women fliers). Since 2005, women have served in 83% of all positions in the military, including Shipboard Navy Service (except submarines), and Artillery. Combat roles are voluntary for women.
As of 2002, 33% of lower rank Officers are women, 21% of Captains and Majors are women and 3% of the most senior ranks are held by women.
450 women currently serve in combat units of Israel's security forces, primarily in the Border Police. The first female fighter pilot received her wings in 2001. In a controversial move, the IDF abolished its "Women's Corps" command in 2001, with a view that it has become an anachronism and a stumbling block towards integration of women in the army as regular soldiers with no special status.
This being said, it is clear that Israeli women are and have been active particpants in defending Israel since the very beginning. The practice of omitting women, of denigrating the important role women have played in the creation of the State of Israel is certainly insulting and wholly innaccurate.
It is long, long past time when foolish attitudes towards women, perpetuated by cultural sensibilities from parts of the world where women were historically in subservient roles to men, be laid at last to rest. This paternal attitude simply does not wash in a modern culture – certainly Israel iteself is at the forefront of equal rights and makes little distinguishment between its human citizens based on sexuality. We should emulate this fine example rather than dismiss it and pretend it doesn’t exist.
At Petah Tikvah Synagogue, the brain trust is clearly lacking – they’ve eliminated half of their adult members as potential synagogue leaders by defending and enforcing an archaic world view that simply doesn’t apply anymore.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Observations
When Henry David Thoreau said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation, I think he was giving mankind too much credit. I think that for the most part – happiness comes in the little moments – a good steak, a good movie – a nice night out with friends. I don’t think that most humans really ask the deep questions – because in the long run, the answer doesn’t really make a difference when you are in a long line at the supermarket and some jerk three ahead of you is arguing about the cost of green beans. No the deep questions aren’t really what life is – life is so much more mundane really. Changing diapers, feeding a family, not being late for car pool. There isn’t much time to ponder or even remember that there is more to life than what seems to occupy our every living moment. But once in a while, if we are open to it and not distracted by the foolishness that is constantly drumming against our brains, we can catch a glimpse – a fleeting moment watching a magnificent sunset or a graceful eagle or a child painting. There is immortality in these moments. As there is in Shabbat if you do it right.
I’ve noticed that there are 3 kinds of people in this world; People who are satisfied with the steak and movie; People who are constantly searching for more meaning and trying all kinds of experimental ways to get it and thirdly, people who have managed to strike a balance between the two. The first 2 are in trouble really – the satisfied person because they don’t have the intelligence and sensitivity to know that we have a purpose on this earth aside from consuming it and the dissatisfied person because he or she cannot appreciate or take pleasure in the things that actually comprise our lives. The goal is to not get caught up in the business of life as if it is the purpose of life. And to achieve spiritual satisfaction by imbuing our experiences with spirituality – like we do by taking a particular day a week and calling it the Sabbath and doing things differently on that day.
The problem with people who distract themselves with the mundane and everyday features of living is that they confuse earning a living, raising children, paying a mortgage – with the actual purpose of life which is Tikun Olam. They are so busy with making their lives as comfortable as possible that they have nothing left over. It’s sad really – because one day you wake up and say “is this all there is?” And you have cosmically wasted the potential of a truly incredible creation – yourself – in the pursuit of nothing very important. It is like using a G5 Mac for the exclusive purpose of typing your grocery list. All of our incredible features – our strength, our endurance, our waterproof skin, our beating hearts, our ability to feel compassion – all wasted in the act of paying off a bank loan.
So what do we do? We have to face the fact that we DO have a purpose beyond consuming and propagating; that we ARE responsible to do SOMETHING to make this world a better place. Each of us owes this to the generations before us and those that will come after us. So how do we do it, you ask? I guess each one of us must choose our own way – do volunteer work, help people, go out of your way, be a great example, do something for someone. Be kind. Be hospitable. I think that you have to search your self to find the best way for you to make this word a better place. And it doesn’t have to be the whole world. It could be as small as one person.
But the important thing is to have the awareness that we must go beyond ourselves - that there is a purpose for us beyond our own comforts. We all get caught up in the mundane - we have to do something particular to snap ourselves into reality every now and then. But mostly a person has to be aware of it. And desire to do better. We are not required to complete the work. But we are required to start it.
I’ve noticed that there are 3 kinds of people in this world; People who are satisfied with the steak and movie; People who are constantly searching for more meaning and trying all kinds of experimental ways to get it and thirdly, people who have managed to strike a balance between the two. The first 2 are in trouble really – the satisfied person because they don’t have the intelligence and sensitivity to know that we have a purpose on this earth aside from consuming it and the dissatisfied person because he or she cannot appreciate or take pleasure in the things that actually comprise our lives. The goal is to not get caught up in the business of life as if it is the purpose of life. And to achieve spiritual satisfaction by imbuing our experiences with spirituality – like we do by taking a particular day a week and calling it the Sabbath and doing things differently on that day.
The problem with people who distract themselves with the mundane and everyday features of living is that they confuse earning a living, raising children, paying a mortgage – with the actual purpose of life which is Tikun Olam. They are so busy with making their lives as comfortable as possible that they have nothing left over. It’s sad really – because one day you wake up and say “is this all there is?” And you have cosmically wasted the potential of a truly incredible creation – yourself – in the pursuit of nothing very important. It is like using a G5 Mac for the exclusive purpose of typing your grocery list. All of our incredible features – our strength, our endurance, our waterproof skin, our beating hearts, our ability to feel compassion – all wasted in the act of paying off a bank loan.
So what do we do? We have to face the fact that we DO have a purpose beyond consuming and propagating; that we ARE responsible to do SOMETHING to make this world a better place. Each of us owes this to the generations before us and those that will come after us. So how do we do it, you ask? I guess each one of us must choose our own way – do volunteer work, help people, go out of your way, be a great example, do something for someone. Be kind. Be hospitable. I think that you have to search your self to find the best way for you to make this word a better place. And it doesn’t have to be the whole world. It could be as small as one person.
But the important thing is to have the awareness that we must go beyond ourselves - that there is a purpose for us beyond our own comforts. We all get caught up in the mundane - we have to do something particular to snap ourselves into reality every now and then. But mostly a person has to be aware of it. And desire to do better. We are not required to complete the work. But we are required to start it.
The Bestchicken Soup Recipe in the World
The Best Chicken Soup Recipe In The World
1 large shiny pot (must be shiny or it just doesn’t taste the same)
1 CD of Israeli music (must be playing to create the right chicken soup ambience)
Ingredients:
1 chicken cut in eighths
extra chicken bones
chicken feet (if you can get them)
5-7 large carrots, scraped and washed
5 ribs of celery, peeled
2-4 parsnips, scraped and washed
2 whole yellow onions, washed but leave on skin (gives soup yellow colour)
1 whole turnip, peeled
1 large handful of fresh Italian parsley
10 sprigs of fresh dill
3 unpeeled cloves of garlic
20 whole black peppercorns
2 tbsp salt
water to cover
Step One:
Put chicken, bones, feet in pot and cover with cold water. Bring to slow boil, then simmer, skimming foam off top. Simmer and skim for one hour.
Step Two:
Cut carrots, celery, parsnip, turnip into chunks and add to simmering broth. Add onions and rest of the ingredients. Simmer gently (if you boil it, the soup will become cloudy). Simmer for 2-3 hours. Remove from heat and let rest.
Step Three:
Get second pot and strain broth into it. Keep the chicken for another use and toss out everything else. Put strained broth in refrigerator overnight. Remove hard block of fat from the top of the soup in the morning.
Step Four:
Julienne a 2 carrots and 1 parsnip. Take a small amount of broth in a separate pot and simmer these vegetables until they are tender. Add all back to the broth. Taste and add salt as necessary.
Step Five:
Decide what you want to serve with the soup. For a real holiday soup, I use matzo balls and fine egg noodles. Sometimes kreplach too! Prepare these and set aside until serving time. At serving time, warm up broth. Warm matzo balls and noodles, kreplach and serve together in bowls.
1 large shiny pot (must be shiny or it just doesn’t taste the same)
1 CD of Israeli music (must be playing to create the right chicken soup ambience)
Ingredients:
1 chicken cut in eighths
extra chicken bones
chicken feet (if you can get them)
5-7 large carrots, scraped and washed
5 ribs of celery, peeled
2-4 parsnips, scraped and washed
2 whole yellow onions, washed but leave on skin (gives soup yellow colour)
1 whole turnip, peeled
1 large handful of fresh Italian parsley
10 sprigs of fresh dill
3 unpeeled cloves of garlic
20 whole black peppercorns
2 tbsp salt
water to cover
Step One:
Put chicken, bones, feet in pot and cover with cold water. Bring to slow boil, then simmer, skimming foam off top. Simmer and skim for one hour.
Step Two:
Cut carrots, celery, parsnip, turnip into chunks and add to simmering broth. Add onions and rest of the ingredients. Simmer gently (if you boil it, the soup will become cloudy). Simmer for 2-3 hours. Remove from heat and let rest.
Step Three:
Get second pot and strain broth into it. Keep the chicken for another use and toss out everything else. Put strained broth in refrigerator overnight. Remove hard block of fat from the top of the soup in the morning.
Step Four:
Julienne a 2 carrots and 1 parsnip. Take a small amount of broth in a separate pot and simmer these vegetables until they are tender. Add all back to the broth. Taste and add salt as necessary.
Step Five:
Decide what you want to serve with the soup. For a real holiday soup, I use matzo balls and fine egg noodles. Sometimes kreplach too! Prepare these and set aside until serving time. At serving time, warm up broth. Warm matzo balls and noodles, kreplach and serve together in bowls.
Rachel's Hands
Rachel’s Hands
Rachel’s hands hold the essence of her beauty.
Round and soft, white as dinner rolls
They punctuate her stories with a dance all their own.
Rachel’s hands hold the power to bring a family together
As they knead the dough, stir the pot, peel the vegetables.
Then so carefully she places the dishes on the table
And beckons her family with voice and hands to heat.
Rachel’s hands comfort babies,
Console the ill,
Clap with joy at the accomplishments of her children
And their children.
And theirs.
Her fingers, eager and able
Know by rote the tasks that made them strong
Willing always to share the work
Waving away the tiredness of her body
Clenched in resolve to finish the job at hand.
I love Rachel’s hands when they grasp my own
And hold me tight
And pass to me their strength
And their wisdom.
Keep your manicured, polished, painted hands
That vanish at the whisper of work
And give me hands like Rachel’s
That fashion love from fingertips
And life from palms.
Rachel’s hands hold the essence of her beauty.
Round and soft, white as dinner rolls
They punctuate her stories with a dance all their own.
Rachel’s hands hold the power to bring a family together
As they knead the dough, stir the pot, peel the vegetables.
Then so carefully she places the dishes on the table
And beckons her family with voice and hands to heat.
Rachel’s hands comfort babies,
Console the ill,
Clap with joy at the accomplishments of her children
And their children.
And theirs.
Her fingers, eager and able
Know by rote the tasks that made them strong
Willing always to share the work
Waving away the tiredness of her body
Clenched in resolve to finish the job at hand.
I love Rachel’s hands when they grasp my own
And hold me tight
And pass to me their strength
And their wisdom.
Keep your manicured, polished, painted hands
That vanish at the whisper of work
And give me hands like Rachel’s
That fashion love from fingertips
And life from palms.
Award Winning Diet Vegetable Soup
Award Winning Diet Soup
¼ head of cabbage chopped
1 onion, chopped
3 carrots, scraped and sliced into rounds
3 stalks celery, chopped
1 large can diced tomatoes plus 1 can of water
½ large can crushed tomatoes
2 tbsp. parve chicken stock powder
1 tbsp. fresh dill weed
1 tbsp. fresh chopped parsley
1 tbsp. oregano
salt and pepper to taste
Combine all ingredients in pressure cooker and bring to boil. Turn to medium and let cook for 6 minutes. (If you don’t have a pressure cooker, place all ingredients in large soup pot and bring to boil. Cover and simmer 1 hour.)
Optional Vegetables to Add: (these add 0 points)
Zucchini
Swish Chard
Cauliflower
Mushrooms
Leeks
The following can be added after cooking and add approximately 1 point per serving. Make sure to drain and rinse before adding.
Canned lentils
Canned chick peas
Canned kidney beans or mixed beans
¼ head of cabbage chopped
1 onion, chopped
3 carrots, scraped and sliced into rounds
3 stalks celery, chopped
1 large can diced tomatoes plus 1 can of water
½ large can crushed tomatoes
2 tbsp. parve chicken stock powder
1 tbsp. fresh dill weed
1 tbsp. fresh chopped parsley
1 tbsp. oregano
salt and pepper to taste
Combine all ingredients in pressure cooker and bring to boil. Turn to medium and let cook for 6 minutes. (If you don’t have a pressure cooker, place all ingredients in large soup pot and bring to boil. Cover and simmer 1 hour.)
Optional Vegetables to Add: (these add 0 points)
Zucchini
Swish Chard
Cauliflower
Mushrooms
Leeks
The following can be added after cooking and add approximately 1 point per serving. Make sure to drain and rinse before adding.
Canned lentils
Canned chick peas
Canned kidney beans or mixed beans
Moroccan Recipes We Make Every Week
Ensalata Corche
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 tbsp. sweet paprika
½ tbsp. hot paprika
½ green pepper finely diced
½ tbsp. granulated garlic
½ tsp. black pepper
½ tbsp. salt
½ cup vegetable oil (not olive oil)
Combine all in saucepan. Bring to slow boil. Simmer for 1 hour or more until most of the liquid has evaporated. Mash with potato masher Refrigerate before serving.
Carrots and Spinach
6 large carrots
½ package chopped frozen spinach
½ cup vegetable oil (not olive oil)
¼ cup white vinegar
1 tbsp. sweet paprika
½ tbsp. hot paprika
2 tbsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp. black pepper
Peel carrots and cut into rounds (1/4 inch). Boil in salted water until very tender but not mushy. Drain in colander. Boil frozen spinach in a little water until tender. Drain into same colander on top of carrots. Place oil, vinegar and all seasonings together in saucepan. Warm on medium heat, mixing together well. Add in carrots and spinach and thoroughly mix. Cover and simmer gently for 15 minutes. Remove and cool completely in refrigerator.
Beets
6 medium size fresh beets
½ cup vegetable oil (not olive oil)
¼ cup white vinegar
1 tbsp. sweet paprika
½ tbsp. hot paprika
2 tbsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp. black pepper
Place beets, with skin and roots into pressure cooker. Add 1 tsp. salt. Cover with water and pressure cook at medium “rock” for 40 minutes. Run pressure cooker under cold water until steam stops. Remove lid. Remove skin and roots from beets by peeling with your fingers under cold running water. The skin will just pop right off. Slice beets into chunks. . Place oil, vinegar and all seasonings together in saucepan. Warm on medium heat, mixing together well. Add in beets, thoroughly coat in oil mixture and simmer for 15 minutes covered. Refrigerate before serving.
Couscous With Chicken
Broth
Put together the following into a large soup pot. Cover with water and add in salt. Simmer for half an hour.
Chunks of squash (don’t peel – just discard seeds)
Chunks of cabbage (cut in big wedges)
Chunks of carrots
Chunks of potatoes
Chunks of Sweet Potatoes
Carefully remove vegetables and keep liquid aside.
Vegetables
Place vegetables in roasting pan. Drizzle with a little honey and sprinkle sugar on top. Add a little cinammon. Roast for an hour or more, until carmelized.
Chicken
Coat chicken pieces with honey and granulated garlic, salt, pepper. Add sliced dried apricots. Roast chicken pieces in oven covered, slowly until well done and carmelized. Remove cover and let brown.
Toasted Almonds & Onions
1 cup of whole, white almonds
1 onion, peeled and sliced into thin strips
¼ cup oil
Warm oil on stove. Place in almonds. Stay with them, turning often as they burn easily. Cook until they are golden brown. Carefully remove with slotted spoon. Drain on paper towel. Place onion strips in warm, almond fragrant oil and saute until golden. Drain on paper towel.
Couscous
1 package of instant couscous
Liquid from broth
Follow directions on package – using liquid from broth instead of water – but topping up with water if necessary. Bring to a boil the proper amount of liquid as specified on package. Add in the couscous – cover and wait 5 minutes. Uncover for 2 minutes. Fluff with fork and serve.
The Assembly
Place couscous in serving bowl. Place chicken in centre of platter with apricot pieces and cooking juices. Place the roasted vegetables around the chicken. Place the onion strips and toasted almonds on top.
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 tbsp. sweet paprika
½ tbsp. hot paprika
½ green pepper finely diced
½ tbsp. granulated garlic
½ tsp. black pepper
½ tbsp. salt
½ cup vegetable oil (not olive oil)
Combine all in saucepan. Bring to slow boil. Simmer for 1 hour or more until most of the liquid has evaporated. Mash with potato masher Refrigerate before serving.
Carrots and Spinach
6 large carrots
½ package chopped frozen spinach
½ cup vegetable oil (not olive oil)
¼ cup white vinegar
1 tbsp. sweet paprika
½ tbsp. hot paprika
2 tbsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp. black pepper
Peel carrots and cut into rounds (1/4 inch). Boil in salted water until very tender but not mushy. Drain in colander. Boil frozen spinach in a little water until tender. Drain into same colander on top of carrots. Place oil, vinegar and all seasonings together in saucepan. Warm on medium heat, mixing together well. Add in carrots and spinach and thoroughly mix. Cover and simmer gently for 15 minutes. Remove and cool completely in refrigerator.
Beets
6 medium size fresh beets
½ cup vegetable oil (not olive oil)
¼ cup white vinegar
1 tbsp. sweet paprika
½ tbsp. hot paprika
2 tbsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp. black pepper
Place beets, with skin and roots into pressure cooker. Add 1 tsp. salt. Cover with water and pressure cook at medium “rock” for 40 minutes. Run pressure cooker under cold water until steam stops. Remove lid. Remove skin and roots from beets by peeling with your fingers under cold running water. The skin will just pop right off. Slice beets into chunks. . Place oil, vinegar and all seasonings together in saucepan. Warm on medium heat, mixing together well. Add in beets, thoroughly coat in oil mixture and simmer for 15 minutes covered. Refrigerate before serving.
Couscous With Chicken
Broth
Put together the following into a large soup pot. Cover with water and add in salt. Simmer for half an hour.
Chunks of squash (don’t peel – just discard seeds)
Chunks of cabbage (cut in big wedges)
Chunks of carrots
Chunks of potatoes
Chunks of Sweet Potatoes
Carefully remove vegetables and keep liquid aside.
Vegetables
Place vegetables in roasting pan. Drizzle with a little honey and sprinkle sugar on top. Add a little cinammon. Roast for an hour or more, until carmelized.
Chicken
Coat chicken pieces with honey and granulated garlic, salt, pepper. Add sliced dried apricots. Roast chicken pieces in oven covered, slowly until well done and carmelized. Remove cover and let brown.
Toasted Almonds & Onions
1 cup of whole, white almonds
1 onion, peeled and sliced into thin strips
¼ cup oil
Warm oil on stove. Place in almonds. Stay with them, turning often as they burn easily. Cook until they are golden brown. Carefully remove with slotted spoon. Drain on paper towel. Place onion strips in warm, almond fragrant oil and saute until golden. Drain on paper towel.
Couscous
1 package of instant couscous
Liquid from broth
Follow directions on package – using liquid from broth instead of water – but topping up with water if necessary. Bring to a boil the proper amount of liquid as specified on package. Add in the couscous – cover and wait 5 minutes. Uncover for 2 minutes. Fluff with fork and serve.
The Assembly
Place couscous in serving bowl. Place chicken in centre of platter with apricot pieces and cooking juices. Place the roasted vegetables around the chicken. Place the onion strips and toasted almonds on top.
Vegetarian Cholent
Judy’s Vegetarian Cholent Recipe
3-4 onions, chopped
4-6 potatoes, washed, peeled and cut into chunks
1 large sweet potato, washed peeled and cut into chunks
4 carrots, scraped and cut into chunks
1 cup dried red kidney beans
½ cup pearl barley
¼ cup canola oil
1 tbsp. paprika
1 large roll of pareve kishka (available at Perl’s)
salt, pepper
In a large pot, sautee onions in the ¼ cup canola oil until soft, but not browned. Add the paprika. Add everything else (but not kishka) and stir thoroughly. Cover with water. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer for 1 hour.
Place everything in oven proof dish (I use a roasting pan) and add sliced chunks of kishka on top. Make sure there is enough liquid to cover – add more water if necessary. Cover tightly with foil. Place in 200 degree oven before Shabbat on Friday and leave until lunch on Saturday – check once in a while to make sure there is some liquid – add more water as necessary.
3-4 onions, chopped
4-6 potatoes, washed, peeled and cut into chunks
1 large sweet potato, washed peeled and cut into chunks
4 carrots, scraped and cut into chunks
1 cup dried red kidney beans
½ cup pearl barley
¼ cup canola oil
1 tbsp. paprika
1 large roll of pareve kishka (available at Perl’s)
salt, pepper
In a large pot, sautee onions in the ¼ cup canola oil until soft, but not browned. Add the paprika. Add everything else (but not kishka) and stir thoroughly. Cover with water. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer for 1 hour.
Place everything in oven proof dish (I use a roasting pan) and add sliced chunks of kishka on top. Make sure there is enough liquid to cover – add more water if necessary. Cover tightly with foil. Place in 200 degree oven before Shabbat on Friday and leave until lunch on Saturday – check once in a while to make sure there is some liquid – add more water as necessary.
John Tory
The capitulation of John Tory on the issue of faith based funding for schools in Ontario – 9 days before the election – should be considered a criminal matter. The political and financial support he bilked out of supporters of this passionate issue is tantamount to fraud. The fact that his buckling under party and political pressure to reverse the pinnacle issue of his campaign, is proof positive that he is unscrupulous, unethical, ineffective and cowardly. Qualities that appear to be compulsory for the premier of this province – witness the lame duck he is running against, and as such he is now unequivocally qualified to mismanage the business of the province as well as any of his predecessors.
My Experience With Personal Training
For my 56th birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at Extreme Fitness.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Fiza, who identified herself as a 26-year-old chiropractic student and fitness expert.
The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Fiza waiting for me. She is something of an Iranian princess- with shiny black hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Her body is incredible! Woohoo!!
Fiza gave me a tour and showed me the machines. Very inspiring! fIZA was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Fiza made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Fiza's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO on Yonge Street.
Fiza was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Fiza put me on the stair 'monster'. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Fiza told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:
Fiza was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Fiza took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine, which I sank.
FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Fiza more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader! If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Fiza wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.
Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY:
Fiza left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching 11 straight hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY:
Thank God this week is over.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Fiza, who identified herself as a 26-year-old chiropractic student and fitness expert.
The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Fiza waiting for me. She is something of an Iranian princess- with shiny black hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Her body is incredible! Woohoo!!
Fiza gave me a tour and showed me the machines. Very inspiring! fIZA was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Fiza made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Fiza's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO on Yonge Street.
Fiza was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Fiza put me on the stair 'monster'. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Fiza told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:
Fiza was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Fiza took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine, which I sank.
FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Fiza more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader! If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Fiza wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.
Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY:
Fiza left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching 11 straight hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY:
Thank God this week is over.
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